Hi, Richard! Awhile ago you wrote in a message to James Bradley:

I can find me a wife without a day-gig that can
tickle the ivories. I just can't imagine what *that*
eHarmony add would look like. <scratching head>

HEy, I wanted a wife with good vocal chops,

Ah. I'm reminded there of the adage "Be careful what you wish for... you might get it!" If you were performing more often in those days (and doing less sound work) than you are nowadays having a spouse who could double as the vocalist in the band may have seemed convenient. Unfortunately, however, when people seek a mate who has certain characteristics they tend to overlook a few details. If you wanted Ella Fitzgerald & got Beverly Sills your wife may have felt like a fish out of water no matter how hard both of you tried to make the relationship work. A common interest in music can add a dimension which might not be achievable otherwise. That's certainly the case with Dallas & me. But what worked in our case sounds a lot more like Daryl's experience with Janice. Neither of us was looking for a mate at the time we met. We had both accepted the idea that nobody would want to marry *us* because we were too weird. Then in time we realized there was something quite unique going on between us. :-)

got one, master's in vocal music.

Classically trained, I would imagine....

had to teach her hat to scat sing though. USed to
write out her scat parts to be honest.

Scat singing, eh?? A usually reliable source tells me Frankie Lounge Lizard did that in a recording session the morning after the night before when he couldn't remember the words to a song he made famous.... Q-)

Different people have different styles of learning & of making music. As it happens I had a clarinet teacher who gave me sight work at every lesson. But in case some symphony musicians may be lurking in this echo, I feel I must specify that he wanted me to play pieces for him which I'd never seen or heard before. Dallas & I lived in a world where it was quite usual to have somebody ask a dance band to play their favourite song, where the ink was barely dry on yet another item pit musicians in an off-Broadway tryout might receive moments before curtain time, and where band teachers attended "summer reading clinics" in which they'd run through a music publisher's most recent offerings together with other teachers & with whoever else expressed an interest in joining them. Symphony musicians and/or music faculty types, according to an article written just a few days ago by such a person, don't sight read even in rehearsal... or they think of sight reading as what real musicians do after having a chance to "look over" the music for a week at home! Whatever your ex's innate abilities may have been, I reckon spontaneity (e.g. scat singing) probably wasn't valued in the environment where she received her training & she found it difficult to expand her professional horizons later even when she very much wanted to.

JFTR... I'm a reader by training & by inclination. I'll take on just about anything I can see in print. One of the things which interests me about concert band & about playing the clarinet is the variety of music I'm expected to take in stride. What I find difficult to understand is why other folks get uptight when they encounter some combination of notes they're unfamiliar with. They seem quite capable of reading a newspaper. So what's the big deal?? :-)

We lasted 9 years, then she wanted a divorce

My sincere condolences. No doubt you & she did the best you knew how to do then, but maybe she was right that something didn't really "click". :-(




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Ardith,

Ah. I'm reminded there of the adage "Be careful what you wish for...

I apply that to these "storm chasers" (we're in tornado season in
Arkansas now)...because sooner or later, they or their loved ones will
be the ones who lose their property or lives.

Classically trained, I would imagine....

I have a Bachelor Of Arts in Radio/TV/Film, and a minor in Music from
the University Of Arkansas At Little Rock.

My sincere condolences. No doubt you & she did the best you knew h
to do then, but maybe she was right that something didn't really "click". :

Hard to believe me late wife has been gone almost 11 years (major
heart attack 3 weeks shy of our 4th anniversary). But, you hear all
these stories of couples breaking up around the wedding...ergo:

1) At the reception, 15 minutes after being pronounced "man and wife",
the couple announced they wanted a divorce.

2) At the reception, the groom angrily tore up the marriage license. In
some areas, if you don't return that with or without the proper
signatures, you pay a hefty fine.

3) At the reception, the bride and groom got into a knock down, drag
out, beat them to death, fight.

4) At the altar, when the preacher said "If there's anyone in this room,
who feels that this couple shouldn't be married...let them speak now, or forever hold their peace"...IT WAS THE BRIDE who spoke up...she got
"cold feet" at the altar. Both families were furious, as they had spent
all that money!!

My question is "where's the commitment??".

Daryl

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