The other factor that needs to be taken into account with the setting that we're currently in is that we're _still_ couchsurfing. That is, there are no separate rooms, there's no real place for us to put our stuff, and the person who was kind enough to let us stay with him had the place full to the brim of his stuff when we got here. So there's not really enough space in this place to do anything with toys, and usually it's in unacceptable condition for inviting anyone over here. He reads his books, but he reads through them so fast that I can't keep up. I have located a local library here, which will, no
doubt, help a bunch, but that's just not done yet. Due to the issues that I had, I was unable to get out of the apartment for quite some time, which really
held us back in some of those areas.
This neighborhood is quickly gentrifying. However, our local area is still
pretty full of late 20-somethings, and early 30-somethings. It's an upscale neighborhood, just outside of Portland Metro. So almost all of these people have no kids. In fact the only two that I know of that have kids; well, one is
over a block away (I'll get to how something ridiculously small like that is an
issue in a bit here), and the other is not near his age, nor do his parents seem to like anyone else, except for the police whom they love to call on anybody that drives anything bigger than a Geo Metro. Gotta love militant environmentalists, especially when you're trapped in your vehicle that was perfectly necessary in the plains, but has too many problems to get rid of or trade right now.
The one block issue is an issue only because of the kinds of people in this
neighborhood. There are two kinds in particular that are coming into play at this point. The first are the young upstanding professionals, who were all raised by 'helicopter parents' themselves (I'll get to that in a sec, as I said). My son is a little bit small for his age. If he wasn't, I'd probably be okay with it, but as it is, I'm dead terrified that he'll get the police called on him for being out checking out the area on his own. Plus, in a slightly busier neighborhood the other day, someone damn near put in in the ER because they didn't know how to drive worth a tin shit. I hope _he_ learned from that experience (well, everyone involved, actually).
The next kinds are the ones that've been pushed out of portland metro just recently by the police department. They've been pushing the homeless, including the homeless crackheads and alcoholics, out of the metro, but not out
of the surrounding areas so much yet. So as their population here spikes, the streets, and anything left on them, are becoming rapidly less safe. Makes me wish that we would've been stable enough to get him into Aikido for a few years
by now, at least. He's in Tae Kwon Do now, but still a white belt, and not nearly proficient in it. Not that TKD is ever really proficient in a street fight, though it can definitely provide a bit of an advantage and confidence.
So. On to helicopter parenting. This was actually a term coined by my friend 'Neuro', a user on this BBS. It's a term used to describe the latest phenomena of parents who don't let their kids have _any_ unstructured or unsupervised time. While this can be great for learned skills, it can be terrible for having a kid ready for the real world. In an area where it is the
norm, you stand to be called an incompetent parent if your children are out on their own. He doesn't even have a group of friends to go out with yet, because
of the factors that I've already mentioned. One good friend with him from school almost turned out, but his mom became a complete and utter flake. Whatever she's doing is far more important than her son's socialization.
I wouldn't worry so much about being called an incompetent parent, when I'm
giving him the experience and the skills that he needs to survive, if I had a job, my own place, and everything right now. As it stands, though, the last thing that I need is CPS looking into the situation. I mean everything is legit, but it's not like I have any sort of real leg to stand on showing that I'm a 'Fine Upstanding Citizen'(tm) brand American Single Parent.
Apropos of all of this: he's spending almost all of his time on video games, except when I helicopter parent him out to the park. Which has been nearly impossible for months of raining cold here. His behavior is getting rather ADHD because of it (using the term loosely-- just meaning that he is instant reward trained now, and freaks out when having to do anything that requires perseverence and long-term dedication now). He is also suffering from
the fact that he's had no friends to hang out with regularly for a long time. He doesn't say as much, but he's the type that keeps those things to himself. I know that it bothers him from his behavior, and the general stress that we've
been in for 2 years straight now has him grinding his teeth all night long.
So yeah... I'm gonna send this out as it is right now. Long story short, I don't know what to do about it other than to keep pushing for a job, now that
I've got myself stable, and get the hell out of it. I just wish there was something I could do quicker. There's plenty of meet-ups, but my vehicle being
gone now is making that rougher, especially on school days.
Hope y'all are well. Any tips, advice, or even amusing anecdotes of your own to take my mind off of this for a bit are greatly appreciated.
Namaste'.
-Damo
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